Chapter 7: Janey Letters, continued

Hey, Janey.

How are you?

I’m feeling grateful and thought I’d share. I feel like I’d be remiss not to bring up some key folks.

There is a whole cast of characters who rescued me at key moments of my journey. I will give you a few examples, in no particular order:

• You. I count you in my fabulous band of women and am so thankful for you and your friendship. Please know how much you are loved by me.
• Marsha, my college roommate and our partner in crime during high school.
• My other high school girlfriends (who live across the country). I know that you didn’t really get along with Donna, but that chick organized everyone, and within four hours had hired a moving company to show up at my home, and move me out when Marc left for work one day.
• The Hilton Honors customer service representative who refunded my entire honeymoon package, regardless of the disclaimer clearly stating it was non-refundable.
• The security installation man who, upon hearing my story, gave me and each of my kids. our own personal alarm to carry on us at all times. Worth? $600. Cost? Free.
• My neighborhood girlfriends who rescued my clothes, without my knowledge, from the dumpster. I had thrown every piece of clothing I owned, if I thought Marc had ever touched me while I was wearing it. These girls fished my clothes out of a dumpster, had them dry cleaned and stored them in their closets until I was ready to get out of my t-shirt and sweatpants.
  • Side note: They were stored for four months. Yes, I wore the same sweatpants and three t-shirts for four months. I wasn’t taking many showers back then. I also made Velveeta and queso dip a food group – hence the 40 pound weight gain. Hello, Weight Watchers!
• My former husband, who called up the local police department to ask them to keep an eye on my new home, and watch out for a man fitting Marc’s description.
• The woman at the Adult Abuse office who helped me fill out all the restraining order paperwork and cried while I told her my stories. When you make the 12-year veteran at the Adult Abuse office cry, well, you know your story is unique.
• The stranger who created these fabulous Beyoncé memes that I played silently on my cell phone during our court hearing for the restraining order. This little white girl honestly left the courthouse thinking I was a strong black woman, with the restraining order in my manicured hand.
• The FBI agent who kept apologizing to me because I only had Marc’s email documentation, and couldn’t physically prove I was drugged and raped.
• My OB-GYN Nurse Practitioner. She cried when she gave me my test results and said, “I hate him so much for you.”
• Southwest Airlines
• Any and all musicians. without live music, I’d be nothing.
• My friend Marcie, who had no words, only tears and a hand to hold.

I’m off to bed and hoping for zero nightmares, my friend.

Sleeping tight and believing in magic… always magic,
Maya

P.S. Don’t forget that Safe In Harm’s Way has our own YouTube Channel. It’s loaded with videos and ideas on healing. We would love to have you follow us there and be sure to SUBSCRIBE so that you can get all the latest and greatest news.

Also,
If you’re reading this chapter and it hits too close to home, you are NOT alone. This type of abuse is more common than people think in relationships. If you choose to talk to a therapist about it, I would suggest you watch this webinar from DomesticShelters.org first AND show them the webinar, too. Otherwise… well, they could not believe you.

Therapists, counselors, police, judges ALL NEED TO KNOW this happens. Please don’t stop talking. Please. You’re worth it.

SOUNDTRACK:
Ben Howard “Only Love”

LYRICS:

Give me shelter, or show me heart
Come on love, come on love
Watch me fall apart, watch me fall apart
Watch me fall apart