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During gaslighting, one thing an abuser wants is a REACTION.

Any reaction can be used against a survivor to continue the manipulation and abuse. Did you yell because your abuser hurled lies and insults at you? Boom! The abuser turns around and calls you crazy for being so upset.

Maybe you even ended up apologizing to your partner for being so loud, or crying, or running away. Our survivor, Maya, has hundreds of stories about Marc. She would apologize to him for being so defensive…..when really, how do you not be defensive against lies that are told about you or people you love?

It’s hard.

We hope this meditation helps you to be less reactive and more focused on you, your confidence and the truth you know in your heart.

Dig deep and hold on, Survivor Sisters (and Brothers). You can keep your confidence and knowledge of the truth, as you travel the road with a gaslighting abuser.

Be careful and have a plan. Connect with our CEO and Founder, Caroline Markel Hammond on LinkedIn where she discusses how dangerous it is to leave an abuser. Please take good care of yourself and those you love.

Old man sitting on the ground with his fingers interlocked.

Meditation on Being Less Reactive:

Begin by settling into a relaxed position.  Feel yourself letting go and coming into a space of peace.  Let your hands rest gently in your lap or on your knees.  Feel the tension simply melting away as you begin to tune inward. 

Begin to notice where the air comes into your nose.  Feel the cool air entering your body.  Follow your breath as it fills your lungs and expands your belly.   On the exhale, follow the breath back out and notice the temperature of the air as it leaves your body.  The air is warmed from this simple act of breathing.    

The breath is your anchor.  Allow it to be your guide as it keeps you focused and calm.   

Now take in deeper inhales and exhales.  Begin to count to 5 on your inhales and exhales.  Give yourself permission to relax with each breath.   (pause) 

Return to your natural breath and let it just come and go.  No counting, just effortless breath that calms the mind and the body. 

Life is full of highs and lows and meditation helps us deal with daily life in a more positive, non-reactive way.  Learning to just observe before we react takes practice.   Finding that we have space between what we think and feel and how we react, is important.   

Right now, find the space between your breaths.  Notice the pauses.  Let the breath bring you into a calm, peaceful place.  This place can be achieved at any time, simply by focusing on your breath.  It is that powerful. Stay here for a few moments.

Open your eyes. Count to ten, and slowly begin your day again.

Do you have a trick you use to help increase your confidence? What have you discovered on your own journey of healing which helped you really heal on a bad day? Share it with us at:   

We envision a world where survivors can recognize their own power as they heal. Plus, we know that sharing your story lessens the shame and silence for any person who reads it. We stand as architects of change, amplifying the voices of survivors by addressing the intricate web of new ideas and healing resources to create a new life. Our values encompass a sanctuary where feelings find validation, where emotions find expression, and where healing begins. Join us! Take our hand and let’s go change the world!